Friday, 31 January 2014

Gamefaqs vs Lucario

Gamefaqs is quite infamous for bringing out very stupid content on their message boards. This is particularly for fussy fanbases such as Pokémon and Smash. After the confirmation of Lucario, I decided to take a look at they had to say, predicting that something stupid would come out of the deal.

And this is what I find....
"So angry about Lucario's reveal..."

"Because it means Pikachu has been cut for sure.

WHY WOULD YOU CUT PIKACHU?!?!"

There are two things wrong with that: firstly, you are acting too emotional about a character being replaced. And secondly, how do I put this? Oh I know. PIKACHU WAS CONFIRMED ON THE WEBSITE MONTHS AGO! It just involves a bit of, you know, initiative. If you were so worried about Pikachu not being in the game, then look further into the website so you can get more evidence. And what is the worst part? At this current point in time, no one has called the user out for it. 

I'm actually just scraping the surface when it comes to these users. There are the old arguments about Lucario replacing Mewtwo and the 'ol "LUCARIO SUX WE WANT MEWTOO AND GARIZARD" and "Pokemon Trainer should be replaced with Ash". I dunno, maybe I'm digging too deep into a head full of lice. I'm personally just waiting for the Mega Evolution to appear. Hopefully, Lucario won't be as broken as it is in X and Y. 

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

How to build the best RMT.

I've finally found the ultimate way to get a well respected RMT on the Smogon forums. The team raters will be in love with your efforts and see you as the great Smogon user you really are. Just follow all of the golden rules.

When naming the title; just give it a simple name like "My first team", "OU team" or "Help me please (insert a way of saying "I'm hopeless" but don't outright say it because pride is hard to swallow)". Or you can go the extra mile and give it the cheesiest name possible like, if it is something like a team with Tyranitar in, call it "Playing in the sand" or "Want some desert?" Or just call it "Rate my team". 

No team is complete without an introduction. But don't put too much in. Just say "this is a team, enjoy". The last part is very effective. Why? Every Smogon user will love the team so it would make them feel special if they were specifically told to love your magnum opus. 

Now it is time for the team building. What can I say? Just use your favorites or whatever you have in your stock on your local cartridge, because it shows with all that effort and love you share with those pixels. You don't even have to test the team. Smogon will know that you put tons of thought into choosing the Pokémon and realize that maybe you are competent. And remember to put in move sets that are simple and maybe even the first thing you see on the local forum or analysis. 

Don't forget about descriptions. These are very important. They only have to be like one sentence. But explain what every move does to make it seem like you know what you are talking about. For example you could say "Charizard's Fire Blast can defeat Ferrothorn and Mawile". And if you really feel like doing so; use a couple of memes, Mudkip is my favorite, or put in some author tracts about how Blissey should really be UU and how you have sworn a vendetta against people with a smidgen of respect for Electivire and Whimsicott. In fact, pair your author tract with "YOU MUST DIE!" and let that invisible laugh track kick in like a champ.

Don't export your team because your viewers don't need to try out a team and if they do, they should put in the effort for themselves, I mean how lazy. 

Now wait for everyone to give their opinions. If there is no response, they would've died of awesomeness. Sometimes people will be modest and say the team is good, or those snobbish moderators will lock the posts, what meanies. If they do that send them a message saying good insults like "you big poo poo head". They always work for me.

You can try my sample team if you want to and just put it on the forums and claim it as mine.


Tyranitar @ Leftovers
Ability: Sand Stream
EVs: 252 Atk / 252 HP / 4 SDef
Adamant Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Stone Edge
- Crunch
- Fire Punch

Aegislash (M) @ Life Orb
Ability: Stance Change
EVs: 252 Atk / 252 HP / 4 SDef
Adamant Nature
- King's Shield
- Swords Dance
- Sacred Sword
- Shadow Sneak

Charizard @ Charizardite X
Ability: Blaze
EVs: 252 Spd / 252 Atk / 4 HP
Adamant Nature
- Dragon Dance
- Outrage
- Flare Blitz
- Earthquake

Azumarill @ Mystic Water
Ability: Huge Power
EVs: 252 Atk / 252 HP / 4 SDef
Adamant Nature
- Belly Drum
- Aqua Jet
- Waterfall
- Play Rough

Breloom @ Life Orb
Ability: Technician
EVs: 252 Spd / 252 Atk / 4 HP
Jolly Nature
- Spore
- Swords Dance
- Bullet Seed
- Mach Punch

Noivern @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Infiltrator
EVs: 252 Spd / 252 SAtk / 4 SDef
Timid Nature
- Draco Meteor
- Boomburst
- Flamethrower
- Hurricane

You can thank me when you become the very best like no one ever was. And I hope you enjoyed my guide to being the best RMT writer in the world, no, THE UNIVERSE! You will be amazed with the results given from your efforts, trust me on this. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Or could it?